The Date that Never Was October 25, 2006

Dandy.

Stay tuned.

I am very nice (comically Midwestern, really). Minnesotans are nice.

H

—–Original Message—–
From: ME
To: HIM

H
Yes I think tommorrow would be dandy.
I’m sorry about the use of dandy.
Now I’m embaressed and I can’t spell.
I can meet you there at 5.
M

H wrote:

M:

Would tomorrow work for you? Not sure about my schedule, precisely, but it could work if I got there on the early side, I think.

Mr. Funny Divey

—–Original Message—–
From: M
To: H
Sent: Wed, 25 Oct 2006 3:14 PM
Subject: Re:

H,

You’re pretty funny but it’s not that Dive-y. It’s just very small. I guess they probably advertise as an intimate bar. I just like it because there’s no one ever in there to bother you.

M

H wrote:

M:

Okay. I haven’t been to that bar. Is it dank enough for you? I am always up for a dive bar experience, as long as I am pretty sure I won’t get stabbed.

H

—–Original Message—–
From: M
To: H
Sent: Wed, 25 Oct 2006 12:03 PM
Subject: Re:

Either one I mentioned is great.

The Basil is small with a teeny dark smoking section. Usually I require that bars I frequent have jokeboxes but neither of these do.

Then again, there are other places.

H wrote:
Ha. Well, it’s another Life Skill that can be picked up. What is your fave bar around there?

—–Original Message—–
From: M
To: H
Sent: Wed, 25 Oct 2006 11:51 AM
Subject: Re:

No, I never learned.
I’m such a poor example of a smoker when it comes to party tricks!

~M

H wrote:
Well, darling, my name is H.

We can practice smoke rings together. Can you do those, Smoker Girl?

2006 April 14, 2006

You are and always will be (simply put) the most important single human being in my life. I care more, and feel better around you than anyone ever…I do now, and I always will.

That said…

You used to be so much more. I used to think of you as being a soul the gods would watch with amusement as you floated above their heads, drifting into time and space that no human had ever before occupied. Your soul danced above that of the gods and they envied you for it. They only permitted it because they started you off and as their creation they wondered how you could rise to levels never before seen by them by a lowly human.

You had the power to effect me in every positive way without discussion, or even conscious thought.You rewired my brain in all the positive ways without even meaning to.

I knew your faults. I knew you were human. I thought among other things at the least you could tell me anything and I could always trust you. Even if what you needed to say was hard on me.

Anxiety December 29, 2005

What Lies Beneath

So a few days ago I posted this to someones comments section and the fact that I’ve ignored the number 1 rule of imternet-info-link-picture-stealing-stuff has been EATING ME UP inside.  So I’d just like to say for the record…that I had previously seen this posted on a friend of a friends comments section.  EDMOND origionally posted it!  There I said it, I’m freeeee!

On another note I think I almost laughed myself to death when I first saw that website which is funny….because I saw Alien Vs Predator…which is even funnier because I hate scary movies.  (And movies in general)

Suprisingly Alien Vs Predator wasn’t that terrifying. ”Of Corse is wasn’t!” you may be thinking.  But you don’t know me! 

Things that have scared the bejesus out of me.

Thats right I said JESUS.

Anyway.

Things that are scary for a bean:

Storm of the Century (you know Tim Daly, hyptonized kids, evil townspeople)

Nevada (with Amy Brenneman and her spoiled kids and her stupid husband)

Being stoned and being at someones house who I don’t really know

The show Dead Tenants on TLC

Having Problems with my Car Insurance

So all that crap scares me and some of it (okay most) is very non-threatening.

So the fact that I was okay with giant slimey aliens is really bizarre.  I don’t think its possible that they’ll come attack me. 

On the other hand it could be possible for the student my husband (the professor) had an affair with and killed to take up resident in my body and write things in my foggy bathroom mirror.

I am not however concerned with looking like Michelle Pfiefferreifieirieifieiri (I’m not even going to try)

The Neurosurgeon March 31, 2002

From: Ashan

You need to know right off the bat that I am notoriously poor at email communication. Maybe you gathered this from the noticeably absent response to your last email. You’ll just have to believe me when I say that this behavior is not only not personal but it also is irrespective of the importance of the email exchange. This is to say that I ain’t hot at responding to emails in a timely fashion, despite how important the email or person sending it is to me.

Make sense? It is often difficult for me to express myself, ya know, bein a virgo and all . This is especially true for emails.

So: I am happy to receive your emails, regardless of the content, and so you can write as uninhibited as you like. But only do so with the understanding that I’m a sucky pen pal. Really sucky, and it’ll piss you off, believe you me. There will certainly come times when you have invested a great deal of time composing an inspired letter and I won’t respond to it and you will resent me for it. When these times come (and again, they will come) please remember that I’m not trying to be a dick. I am just a sucky pen pal.

Eh, enough disclaimer, time for some juice:

I miss ya babe and I have been looking fwd to your visit. I stayed in Bethesda for some of this spring break that ends today. I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with the lights out and I thought of one of the times that we spent there together. Perhaps it was many times that had coalesced into a quintessential one, who knows. But I remember laying there with you, waxing philosophical. I remember that you were wearing a black one-piece stretchy thing of some sort, and that YES! came up. I remember admiring your strength, the way I still do now. Since then I have admired the strength of a few others but for the most part, I realized that these other people’s strengths were in coping with an unhealthy life that they had created for themselves. What I mean is that yes, they were strong, but in the way someone who self-mutilates himself is strong for withstanding the pain. That strength doesn’t count. It is a basic human requirement to be able to handle one’s own insanity and idiocy. Moreover, if that kind of strength is observed by an outsider, it is necessarily because it is a struggle for the coping person, which immediately invalidates that strength because ya shouldn’t have to struggle with your own humanity.

But you, you have the real strength. That kind of persistence of will is so evidently polar to that sick other kinda strength. You don’t fuck around, and I like that.

So till another time,

~ashan